Tell me…who are you?
Self-concept. Got one?
In my journey of self-discovery and in coaching others, I have found that being absolutely clear on your self-concept is the key area to “get right” in your mindset management. It feeds into your forward momentum in allowing the life, love, and pursuit of happiness kind of stuff flow more freely into your life. In today’s blog post, going to elaborate a bit more on this “work” from a previous post on how to be your own BFF.
What is self-concept?
For many of us, we have spent most of our lives looking for external validation and affirmation that who we are is okay with the world, which has led us down a path of disappointment and feeling unfulfilled. So, we are going to point the lens inward and understand who you are to yourself.
Self-concept is how YOU view yourself, what you think about yourself, and how you want others to see you. All the beautiful wonderful characteristics you bring to all that you do and in every relationship or connection. This also feeds into how you show up for your dreams and goals- what’s important to you. Self-concept keeps you grounded in your personal integrity. So when the “everyone is you pushed out” moments show up and the world reflects back onto you your present mindset, you can look to your self-concept to keep you balanced. Or you can prepare to be triggered and go on a (hopefully, temporary) journey to the center of your old narrative, thoughts, and belief system that no longer serves you. More on that downstream in this post.
“Tell me, who are you?” - The Who
Could you answer that question, honestly? Would you answer it from the perspective of who you believe you are and how you show up, versus how you may have adopted your personality and “I am” statements based on societal and cultural norms? For example, would you say you are a good spouse, a fine corporate citizen, etc.? That’s all well and good, but it’s secondary or even tertiary to your personal self-concept and what you bring to the table every day and in every way.
Your self-concept is the foundation of your beliefs. What you think of yourself is tied up in your “value statements” and a negative mindset can undermine and limit or delay the abundance you are here to experience.
Your beliefs have an impact on what, who, and how things show up in your reality. Let’s explore the journey to the center of your old narrative…. So, for illustrative purposes, let’s say you did the 7 Day Mindset Reset exercises and had a coaching session or two with me, and you are feeling really good about life and where you’re headed. Then Boom! something from your old narrative shows up in your reality. Maybe it is an ex or a difficult coworker or boss or financial struggle. Now you can choose to react in a way that betrays your new narrative or you can stay true in your personal integrity and self-concept and handle those situations as they arise like the Boss you are and affirm for your new story.
Just a reminder. Mindset management isn’t about ignoring or disregarding what happened to you, but it is about how you choose to respond to anything that shows up in your life. If you’re dealing with a difficult coworker, you may go to a place of undermining the value you do bring to work, and you could revert back to a place of being small or less than what you are as a professional because of old beliefs. Rather, you can choose to stand in your personal integrity/self-concept and address the situation. In short, HOLD THAT LINE! Stay true to your new self-concept. Paste your self-concept and new story on top of that old narrative whose echoes are still showing up.
So…. if you are dealing with a difficult co-worker, you can acknowledge that this is a blip on the radar and merely an opportunity to affirm your ideal state. By being in our personal integrity, we come from a place of authenticity. You will find that you can usually get to a resolution around any discord or challenges faster when maintaining your self-concept and how you show up, rather than when you are coming from a place of being on autopilot and not taking responsibility for any energy or projected negative beliefs.
Reposting these very useful steps from the Be Your Own BFF post because it works!
Get clear on your inevitable truths. I AM statements- these are the framework of defining your value and worth. Using I am for the unconditional aspects of your life is powerful. I reaffirm these facts internally, making it easier to know definitively who you are and start the creation of it.
Here are some common examples: I am beautiful inside and out. I am intelligent. I am wealthy. I am sexy. I am healthy. I am fit. I am an Academy Award Winning Screenwriter. I am a star employee. Once you are clear on this, take them up a notch. Here are some of my personal favorites: I am worthy of everything I desire. I am the goddess of my reality. I am a Boss Bitch. I am always the best version of myself. I am the woman who gets everything she wants.
How does that feel? Some people are easily able to write down a page full of I AM statements. If you are struggling with this, it’s a good thing, actually. You can see where you are getting hung up in old stories and beliefs. Write the I AM statements to align with what you seek in a best friend and be that best friend to yourself.
Complete this exercise as often as you like, until you feel you have your list complete. Go back and review it often. Be sure to check out this article on getting clear on the basics of manifesting techniques.
Important: You don’t have to explain why you are the way you are. Only that it is your truth.
So, if you find yourself in a situation that is butting up against your stuff, you affirm. if you are dealing with a difficult person, you can affirm internally, “I am always getting what want at work because I am a star employee.” or keep it general, I am always the best version of myself at work. I always get what I want out of every situation. These “blanket affirmations” applied to your situation, will reaffirm your new narrative and continue to fade out the old beliefs that kept you stuck.
You are here to experience abundance, joy, success, everything your heart, hands, and imagination can hold, and then some! The only limitations are your thoughts. Get the free 7 Day Mindset Reset ebook to reset your mindset and get more of what you want from life.